Woringly There are six Kims on the bench

Sorry folks its world cup time again, it happens once every four years but we spend all our lives talking about it. Just to disappoint most of you, I don't want England to win. I really don't want England to win. Let me explain why. About 500 years ago England won the world cup. Yay. That should mean a month of partying and a maximum of four years of gloating. But it didn't stop there, in fact it just seemed to get worse. People that weren't even alive at the time of this event started to consider it the most important moment of their lives. We just couldn't move past it. We tried to, we started winning other events in Rugby and Cricket but it wasn't enough. Every seven seconds someone in England would have to declare that we had won the world cup and we should all be happy about this fact. Please don't get me wrong I want England to do well, I want England to get past the first stage and really be praised for how well they played. But please don't let them win.

I can picture the scene now after England managing to get in to the final. The whole country coming to a complete stop, all the emergency services pretending to be busy. The whistle blows and England have won with out the need for penalties and England goes crazy. The madness should last a night, but due to the fact that most people from England have nothing to celebrate in our pointless little lives in keeps going. One day of alcohol fueled partying soon drifts in to a month. Considering the fact that everyone is involved including like I said all the emergency services the violence and accidental deaths keep mounting up. The dead start to litter the streets and the living don't care, illness and and partying fatigue start to destroy the remaining people and news starts to spread that Scotland has invaded. Within two months England is no more and has now become the United Scottish Land and haggis becomes our national dish. Of course we wont care as we won the world cup.

While I'm bitching about England I feel I should mention our incredibly boring flag.

Just look at it, it looks like it was designed by an idiot that had the smallest amount of red paint. The only way this could be more dull is if it was just one line. If you need inspiration about what a flag should look like check out the Welsh flag, it has a fucking dragon on it. Or the Mozambique flag which if you don't know has an AK-47 on it. I mean just as an idea we could have a real serious competition to decide upon a new flag, I think Maybe we could have the queen kitted out in full armour on top of a horse charging towards the Balrog from the Lord of the Rings film. Just an idea but I think it would make the rest of the world see us in a new light.