Not sure on what to write about, just know its been while since I last did so thought I should throw something out for your amusement. So here are some reviews of some old things, nothing new here except my first review.
The Weather
Its alright, what can I say. Its a bit cold but not cold enough to be entertaining. Everyone gets so panicked about the idea of heavy snowfall that we plan our lives around the idea that it might. I suppose that's a good idea, you know plan for the worst. But we should be in a position as a country that heavy snowfall shouldn't disrupt us at all. Russia survives every winter, so why should we stop dead every time a little snow falls? The problem is we the people, as it always should be. We elect, we vote and then we don't complain enough. When the roads become unusable we see it as a day off work not as a loss is wages. We are stupid. So my review of the weather is, its not an issue unless we have elected idiots.
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The world
I can honestly say I have fallen in love with this film. For some reason it talks to me, i get it and for an unknown reason I really relate to the main character. Its funny and at most times very odd film involving bizarre action sequences, interesting people and a witty script. Its amazing so please check it out.
Call of Duty: Black Ops
If your a girl please feel free to skip to the next review. I know COD has been out for a while now and your wondering why I haven't written about it before. Well the reason being is when the last Call Of Duty game came out I reviewed it to early, I raved about it, claiming it to be a marvel. But I was wrong that game had so many flaws it became un playable very quickly. It rewarded people who hid and coward or camped if you know anything about gaming talk. The new COD is a vast improvement and I can happily say its the best COD game since the first modern warfare. The maps are incredibly well designed and the perks, kill streaks and gamercard compliment the game and don't dominate it. This is even more surprising since this is a Treyarch game and not an Infinity Ward game. This is important as Infinity Ward usually make the better games leaving Treyarch to produce the lesser sequels, this has been reversed.
The Cinema
Really I should be reviewing Harry Potter and The Deathly Hollows. But I'm going to assume you've all seen that film by now. If you haven't its a good film, it drags quite a bit and it really looks like all the best bits will be in the second part. Now my issue with the cinema started with an introduction from Simon Pegg at the beginning of the film. He was just on screen promoting his new film and talking about how great his new film will be and why its important to watch it in the cinema. The problem is the cinema is shit. Yay the cinema screen is so big and loud whoo hoo. That cant really be enough though can it? The seats aren't incredibly comfortable especially after 90 minuets. Plus even if you book isle seats you really cant choose who you'll be sitting next to and this was my biggest issue the twats I had to sit next to where joking and giggling the whole way through, the food is a rip off and if anyone needs the toilet during the show everyone has to stand up to let them pass. Yeah at Odeon they have the executive seats for a few quid more but here is my idea. Make the executive seats the standard, have them everywhere, have plenty of leg room and maybe the ability to lean back a bit, if you choose to that is. But the important thing is to lower the price on all parts from the food to the tickets. You'll get more sales if you do it, honestly you will Mr Odeon.
Jon Budworth
What can I say except sorry, I know I'm not great or even close to being acceptable. Sure I can blame some of this on my upbringing but thats not really fair i was a bad kid. I try and hide behind my morale code and don't claim to be homophobic or racist. I donate to charity when I have spare cash in my life. But I'm not a good person in general. I have stolen in the past (not in the last 10 years or at least nothing I can really think of at this time). I have an amazing ability to be incredibly hurt full to people I care about using things they have told me in confidence to hurt them. I'm stubborn, more so then most would give me credit for as I can easily walk away from people and never go back to them even if the issue that lead to separation was mostly my fault. I judge people to harshly on some decisions that leave them happy especially if that feeling of happiness reflects my own misery. I live my life in dream state never really trying to achieve or grow for the most part I just exist wishing that one day I'll win the lottery or inherit millions from a distant relative. But I guess my biggest flaw is my self perception, I see myself as inconvenience to my friends and family I understand that people love me but I don't believe that they should. I'm not great but on the flip side I'm a fantastic lover and I can fart the theme from Jaws.
Monday, 29 November 2010
Saturday, 6 November 2010
I'm so pretty, O so pretty and witty and straight
I know that being gay is not a choice I know this because if it was I would so be a massive homo. I would be cock crazy, dancing at all the clubs and putting out like a slut every night. But sadly I was born straight. I'm not even an interesting straight guy you know one of those is he isn't he types. The reason I would choose to be gay is because I honestly believe I would get laid lots, the reason being that there is a class of gay guys called bears. Bears are usually big, hairy overweight guys who seem to have this following of pretty boys which are some times called cubs. It sounds like a sweet deal as I don't have to change at all and I still get to pull someone out of my league. They only way to achieve that being straight is to be rich, even then I would know that it was down to cash.
On the subject of being rich I did recently win some money on the Euro millions. I didn't kid myself when I received the e-mail letting me know I had won some money I wished for thousands, hoped for hundreds but expected tens. What I won was £5.50 I was a little disappointed. But that's whats great about the lottery no matter the result your always a little disappointed. You may think hey what about those people that win those massive jack Potts well I'm sure they get big headaches trying to think of things to buy, see nobody wins.
So on the subject of losing I'm happily waiting for COD: Black Ops and being uber geek I have booked the week off, yes I'm terrible. But I don't have a lot in life so this is as good as it gets and who could ask for more? Well most people probably but I'm not most people. I'm a straight bear.
On the subject of being rich I did recently win some money on the Euro millions. I didn't kid myself when I received the e-mail letting me know I had won some money I wished for thousands, hoped for hundreds but expected tens. What I won was £5.50 I was a little disappointed. But that's whats great about the lottery no matter the result your always a little disappointed. You may think hey what about those people that win those massive jack Potts well I'm sure they get big headaches trying to think of things to buy, see nobody wins.
So on the subject of losing I'm happily waiting for COD: Black Ops and being uber geek I have booked the week off, yes I'm terrible. But I don't have a lot in life so this is as good as it gets and who could ask for more? Well most people probably but I'm not most people. I'm a straight bear.
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
i really should be writing about all the fun things I've been doing, all the fun times I've had and all the friends I've been seeing. Instead I'm going to complain. I'll break it in to my two biggest gripes of the moment firstly, hopefully something we can all bitch about 3D movies then secondly something for the geek kind like myself and that's exclusive content for computer games given to different retailers.
Fuck you 3D, I watched a terrible 3D film recently made even worse by watching it in 2D on a boring old standard TV. The film was the most recent Resident Evil movie I think it was called afterlife. Anyway a terrible movie that has slipped so far from the original source material it could hardly be considered to have anything in common except the zombies. The movie ran for about 90 minuets but I swear if they ran all the slow mo sequences at normal speed the film would be 15 minuets long and that includes 5 minuets of credits. My real issue was every 30 seconds a shot would come along that was so blatantly meant to be viewed in 3D it just looked out of place on a standard screen. I don't own a 3D TV and to be honest I'm really hoping this whole new found love of the 3D movie experience dies out so that I don't find myself being forced in to getting one when its time to update my old viewing box. For people that love these 3D movies please keep in mind a shit film is a shit film even if it does have bits jumping out the screen at you, the only difference is you have paid slightly more to see and you have some crap shades.
My second angry point. At what time did computer game makers decide that where i purchased there game from would alter the content I received. This has been steadily getting worse, it use to be a case that if you pre-ordered a game they would give you something as a thank you, that seems fair enough. Now though you have to look around each of the stores to find out which retailer with give you the best items for ordering it with them. I'm getting more worried that this will evolve in to game content changing depending on where you get the game from. I'm worried that the last level will be only available to people who brought there copy from HMV. I have paid for this game I want the same content as the guy who brought his copy up the road in a different shop.
Sorry to have been so pointlessly aggressive about these very dull subjects and I hope if you do read them you'll agree with my issues or post a comment showing me where I'm wrong. Also sorry that I haven't written in a while I'll try and post a little more regularly in future. Anyway love you all xoxox.
Fuck you 3D, I watched a terrible 3D film recently made even worse by watching it in 2D on a boring old standard TV. The film was the most recent Resident Evil movie I think it was called afterlife. Anyway a terrible movie that has slipped so far from the original source material it could hardly be considered to have anything in common except the zombies. The movie ran for about 90 minuets but I swear if they ran all the slow mo sequences at normal speed the film would be 15 minuets long and that includes 5 minuets of credits. My real issue was every 30 seconds a shot would come along that was so blatantly meant to be viewed in 3D it just looked out of place on a standard screen. I don't own a 3D TV and to be honest I'm really hoping this whole new found love of the 3D movie experience dies out so that I don't find myself being forced in to getting one when its time to update my old viewing box. For people that love these 3D movies please keep in mind a shit film is a shit film even if it does have bits jumping out the screen at you, the only difference is you have paid slightly more to see and you have some crap shades.
My second angry point. At what time did computer game makers decide that where i purchased there game from would alter the content I received. This has been steadily getting worse, it use to be a case that if you pre-ordered a game they would give you something as a thank you, that seems fair enough. Now though you have to look around each of the stores to find out which retailer with give you the best items for ordering it with them. I'm getting more worried that this will evolve in to game content changing depending on where you get the game from. I'm worried that the last level will be only available to people who brought there copy from HMV. I have paid for this game I want the same content as the guy who brought his copy up the road in a different shop.
Sorry to have been so pointlessly aggressive about these very dull subjects and I hope if you do read them you'll agree with my issues or post a comment showing me where I'm wrong. Also sorry that I haven't written in a while I'll try and post a little more regularly in future. Anyway love you all xoxox.
Sunday, 19 September 2010
How To Live Forever - A J H Budworth Guide
Firstly just to let you all know the secret of life is to exist, very simple I know. Don't you feel a little stupid having not figured it out before? The real problem is we cant go on forever, we have time limits but there are ways around this and here is my guide for you to achieve immortality. Just as a little disclaimer nothing last forever although these tips will increase your mortality sooner or later everything will end.
- HAVE CHILDREN
This is the easiest way to continue on this earth, the plan is simple your genetic code stays alive so apart of you stays alive with it. Sure you will die but all we are is code and that code can in theory continue forever. Plus you have the added advantage of being loved and remembered that way.
2. BE FAMOUS
This is a great way to become immortal. There are some down sides as if you don't pursue fame with enough intensity or you don't create or achieve something of sufficient greatness you can easily become a C-List celebrity. Then your immortality will only last as long as they show the best of Big Brother. But if you do succeed and create something amazing you could very well become the next Hitchcock or Spielberg maybe even the next Budworth.
3. BE INFAMOUS
Possibly the most fun way if not a little evil way to become immortal. Sadly to be truly remembered you have to do some really bad shit. Sure you think you could go around killing a bunch of prostitutes but that wont keep you remembered for long. No you have to be really evil you have to kill 6 million Jews or wright really terrible books like The Da Vinci Code, if you really wanted be truly outrageous you could invent organised religion.
4. BE THE HIGHLANDER
Real difficult to achieve as you kind of have to be born this way and there is a long boring back story as to how you came to be, probably best to stick with the first three suggestions.
Well I hope these tips have helped and don't worry to much as life expectancy always seems to be on the rise anyway so I'm sure soon some company will come up with a cream that takes ten years off every time you use it and we can all go on forever.
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
Which wine goes best with Jaffa Cakes?
Sitting on the bus on the way home from work the slightly odd lady in front of me started eating a pie. A whole pie, i think it was lemon meringue it smelt like it was so I must assume. Like I said the woman was odd, she gets on most days and really does have that odd woman vibe about her but for a man with glasses, facial hair and going bald I do have that pedophile look so I guess my point is nobody's perfect. So there she was happily eating her pie and there i was judging her harshly for it. But then again what is an acceptable food to eat on the bus? I have to admit I have eaten sandwiches, burgers and some ice cream ( in a cone) on the bus before and I never believed any one on the bus was judging me. So I will assume that these are all social acceptable foods, I imagine it would have been different if I had all three at the same time in the style of a sit down meal. So is it down to the quantity of food you eat? Or maybe the style in which you eat it? I would class all the foods I have eaten as hand to mouth food, I would not class a whole pie to be in this category. I suppose if the woman had mini sized pie I wouldn't have been so judgemental I might have even accepted one if offered.
I offended a woman greatly last week although I still doubt I said it. Apparently I called her sir. Just a bit of back story, I had been out the night before with friends I had got extremely drunk and eaten some amazing Chinese food (thank you Oriental express). The food sobered me up but I was still very sleep deprived when I went in to work the next day. I got through the day mostly on coffee until a friend at work gave me a can of monster. Anyway during the day I found myself on tills and although being moody and tired I stayed polite to all the customers. All was going well until the woman appeared. I wont lie she was strange looking ( I would describe has being a female version of Beaker from the Muppet's) but there was no denying she was a woman. I served her as normal and when it came to asking if there was anything else I could do to help she replied yes, please don't refer to me as sir as I am a woman. My quick fired response was I know. I have accidentally called woman sir before and it usually wasn't an issue they would laugh I would apologize and issue resolved. This woman was different, she looked at me with pure hate, even though I did genuinely apologized and express how sorry I was. Maybe she has her own back story in which this was the fourth time today it had happened in which case she should probably do something with her hair.
Anyway I'll be writing another blog soon as things of interest will be happening over the next few days, so sorry about how short this one has been.
I offended a woman greatly last week although I still doubt I said it. Apparently I called her sir. Just a bit of back story, I had been out the night before with friends I had got extremely drunk and eaten some amazing Chinese food (thank you Oriental express). The food sobered me up but I was still very sleep deprived when I went in to work the next day. I got through the day mostly on coffee until a friend at work gave me a can of monster. Anyway during the day I found myself on tills and although being moody and tired I stayed polite to all the customers. All was going well until the woman appeared. I wont lie she was strange looking ( I would describe has being a female version of Beaker from the Muppet's) but there was no denying she was a woman. I served her as normal and when it came to asking if there was anything else I could do to help she replied yes, please don't refer to me as sir as I am a woman. My quick fired response was I know. I have accidentally called woman sir before and it usually wasn't an issue they would laugh I would apologize and issue resolved. This woman was different, she looked at me with pure hate, even though I did genuinely apologized and express how sorry I was. Maybe she has her own back story in which this was the fourth time today it had happened in which case she should probably do something with her hair.
Anyway I'll be writing another blog soon as things of interest will be happening over the next few days, so sorry about how short this one has been.
Saturday, 21 August 2010
Tonbridge - The town where music died
I know I just wrote my last blog but I felt so enraged after a recent shopping trip that I felt I had to write another. My sister turned 26 recently and asked for a CD as a present. Fine I say as I think it wont be an issue, it was an issue. I had work on the day I planned on getting her gift so I was in a rush and as I got in to Tonbridge it dawned on me, do they even sell music in this town any more? Tonbridge does have a place you can buy music its at Sainsburys. Luckily the music my sister wanted was in the top 10 and that's just about all the albums Sainsburys stock. So why so up in arms?
I know most people choose to buy music online, either downloading or buying music for delivery. But its very seldom that anything online takes you by surprise. I can't speak for everyone but 90% of the time I go online for specific music. Yeah the other 10% I'm either checking the sales or seeing whats coming out soon. That's what I miss about music shops, the surprise of finding something you always wanted but never brought, or that great album you owned then lent to someone and never got back. Plus there is something nice to owning a CD or an album on vinyl. Its in your hands someone designed the cover art, real work went in to making this product and it can be an item to cherish. Yeah you can still own it through download but for the most part its just data floating about its almost soulless. Plus with the new ability to buy individual tracks some people don't buy whole albums they just buy the stuff they heard in the charts, sure some bands and artists may only release one good song. But you still run the risk of not finding that hidden gem, that song that isn't released as a single but still sounds amazing, maybe nobody else but you even likes it but that's not the point.
Maybe there is no real money in owning a music shop anymore, but I don't buy it. I imagine like most things in life there is money in it just not lots of profit and who sees the point in breaking even any more. I wish there was something I could say to big businesses to say what the fuck is wrong with you, how much money is enough money? But they wouldn't listen, you might listen. You might be sitting in front of your computer right now clicking on itunes, choosing that one song you want to download and that's fine if you live in tonbridge as you will have to travel to find a shop to buy an album. But if you don't and if you live somewhere else just stop and think, think about how miserable your town or city may become if you had no shops to buy music in. So stop your downloading, save your penny's and go out shopping, better yet try supporting that small independent music shop. I know they charge a little more but on the plus side it isn't owned by a heartless corporation.
Of subject quickly can I just added how pointless those spots Vs stripes Cadburys ads are. If you find yourself cheering one for those teams of water based creatures, feel free to stop and ask yourself what your doing.
I know most people choose to buy music online, either downloading or buying music for delivery. But its very seldom that anything online takes you by surprise. I can't speak for everyone but 90% of the time I go online for specific music. Yeah the other 10% I'm either checking the sales or seeing whats coming out soon. That's what I miss about music shops, the surprise of finding something you always wanted but never brought, or that great album you owned then lent to someone and never got back. Plus there is something nice to owning a CD or an album on vinyl. Its in your hands someone designed the cover art, real work went in to making this product and it can be an item to cherish. Yeah you can still own it through download but for the most part its just data floating about its almost soulless. Plus with the new ability to buy individual tracks some people don't buy whole albums they just buy the stuff they heard in the charts, sure some bands and artists may only release one good song. But you still run the risk of not finding that hidden gem, that song that isn't released as a single but still sounds amazing, maybe nobody else but you even likes it but that's not the point.
Maybe there is no real money in owning a music shop anymore, but I don't buy it. I imagine like most things in life there is money in it just not lots of profit and who sees the point in breaking even any more. I wish there was something I could say to big businesses to say what the fuck is wrong with you, how much money is enough money? But they wouldn't listen, you might listen. You might be sitting in front of your computer right now clicking on itunes, choosing that one song you want to download and that's fine if you live in tonbridge as you will have to travel to find a shop to buy an album. But if you don't and if you live somewhere else just stop and think, think about how miserable your town or city may become if you had no shops to buy music in. So stop your downloading, save your penny's and go out shopping, better yet try supporting that small independent music shop. I know they charge a little more but on the plus side it isn't owned by a heartless corporation.
Of subject quickly can I just added how pointless those spots Vs stripes Cadburys ads are. If you find yourself cheering one for those teams of water based creatures, feel free to stop and ask yourself what your doing.
Thursday, 19 August 2010
Lets get back to basics
I kinda feel I have been writing this blog for other people and while doing that I've completely missed the point of writing a blog. This should be an expression of self. It should be a format for me to express my views and to try and journal certain parts of my life. Maybe in a billion years all that will be left of the human race will be my blog and I have to say jesus why in mid 2010 did we decide to give ants the vote? They changed everything and that's why all the humans are dead.
So here's whats been going on. I recently embarrassed myself with a conversation I had with a friend letting her know it wouldn't be bad kissing her and that I would probably enjoy it. Yeah it sounds harmless but that's because I'm choosing to leave out all the awkward Jon moments. i also recently tried to do the right thing with an issue between some work colleagues. This also blew up in my face and seems to have made me a bit of a cunt. On the plus side we finally have a shower in the Budworth house, after 20 odd years of leaving here we finally have one. This is of course incredibly ironic as I have a nagging feeling we are going to get kicked out of our home but more on that later.
So time for some good news. I have a new niece and like the old niece she is bundle of pure joy and unconditional love. Granted she looks all squishy faced but she is a couple of weeks old and I'm sure she will grow in to herself. For those that haven't seen any pictures she is small, pink and has a lot of black hair on her head. For me sadly describing a baby is like trying to describe an amazing abstract painting. Its beautiful and amazing but no words ever come out right so its probably best to see it for yourself.
So losing our home, most readers have never met my parents. My dad is registered disabled but before that happened he always worked hard either at work or in his studies. My mum has always worked hard but due to poor health has had to take lots of sick leave from most of her jobs. Like at the moment she is off work and its not looking like she will be going back. Now for those who read closely I stated that my parents have always worked hard. I never stated that they ever worked smart. Truth be told that if either of them choose a career at say Sainsburys or Tescos are family would probably be in a safe and secure place but that didn't happen. My family has never been rich even in the slightest we have always just about scraped by constantly borrowing money and trying to get through to the next month. But this time just feels more troublesome I might be blowing things out of proportion but we will see. I don't blame my parents for the way they choose to live there lives, I will say as a warning to all those out there that you should never have a family unless you can afford it and even then its better to spoil one child then it is to just get by with three.
So just to lighten things up I want to share a thought I recently had about the movie The Dark Knight. If you have never seem the film I'm sorry, I strongly suggest going out and watching it now. OK so you have seen the film and you have done your best at ignoring Christien Bales really terrible voice while he plays the Bat. Now near the end Joker has two boats hooked up to blow and the passengers have to choose which boat goes. The Bat insists that neither boat will blow as the people wont do it. This of course happens, nobody presses the button, yay people of Gotham. So Batman has apparently installed goodness and inspired all the people of this city. So why the fuck did he take the blame for the Harvey Dents killings? Lets be fair Batman inspired the people more then Harvey did, Batman was showing the people what good could be done and that any citizen can do a part to make the city a better place. Now he took the blame for the killings he has taken that view away. Maybe Joker knew something like this might happen and that's why he let Harvey out of the hospital. Who knows, what I like about that movie is two years after its release I keep coming back and thinking about all the messages within this film.
So here's whats been going on. I recently embarrassed myself with a conversation I had with a friend letting her know it wouldn't be bad kissing her and that I would probably enjoy it. Yeah it sounds harmless but that's because I'm choosing to leave out all the awkward Jon moments. i also recently tried to do the right thing with an issue between some work colleagues. This also blew up in my face and seems to have made me a bit of a cunt. On the plus side we finally have a shower in the Budworth house, after 20 odd years of leaving here we finally have one. This is of course incredibly ironic as I have a nagging feeling we are going to get kicked out of our home but more on that later.
So time for some good news. I have a new niece and like the old niece she is bundle of pure joy and unconditional love. Granted she looks all squishy faced but she is a couple of weeks old and I'm sure she will grow in to herself. For those that haven't seen any pictures she is small, pink and has a lot of black hair on her head. For me sadly describing a baby is like trying to describe an amazing abstract painting. Its beautiful and amazing but no words ever come out right so its probably best to see it for yourself.
So losing our home, most readers have never met my parents. My dad is registered disabled but before that happened he always worked hard either at work or in his studies. My mum has always worked hard but due to poor health has had to take lots of sick leave from most of her jobs. Like at the moment she is off work and its not looking like she will be going back. Now for those who read closely I stated that my parents have always worked hard. I never stated that they ever worked smart. Truth be told that if either of them choose a career at say Sainsburys or Tescos are family would probably be in a safe and secure place but that didn't happen. My family has never been rich even in the slightest we have always just about scraped by constantly borrowing money and trying to get through to the next month. But this time just feels more troublesome I might be blowing things out of proportion but we will see. I don't blame my parents for the way they choose to live there lives, I will say as a warning to all those out there that you should never have a family unless you can afford it and even then its better to spoil one child then it is to just get by with three.
So just to lighten things up I want to share a thought I recently had about the movie The Dark Knight. If you have never seem the film I'm sorry, I strongly suggest going out and watching it now. OK so you have seen the film and you have done your best at ignoring Christien Bales really terrible voice while he plays the Bat. Now near the end Joker has two boats hooked up to blow and the passengers have to choose which boat goes. The Bat insists that neither boat will blow as the people wont do it. This of course happens, nobody presses the button, yay people of Gotham. So Batman has apparently installed goodness and inspired all the people of this city. So why the fuck did he take the blame for the Harvey Dents killings? Lets be fair Batman inspired the people more then Harvey did, Batman was showing the people what good could be done and that any citizen can do a part to make the city a better place. Now he took the blame for the killings he has taken that view away. Maybe Joker knew something like this might happen and that's why he let Harvey out of the hospital. Who knows, what I like about that movie is two years after its release I keep coming back and thinking about all the messages within this film.
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