Monday, 2 May 2011
The Royal Wedding and Other Pointless Current Events
Apparently two people got married the other day and we all made a pointlessly big deal about an issue that really is so irrelevant its not even worth mentioning, but fuck it I have an opinion so I'll carry on typing. This event DOES NOT MAKE ME PROUD TO BE BRITISH , why would it? If on there way out they revealed that the royals had been working on a cure to all illness and it was now time to reveal the results, then I would be proud, they didn't. At best they made some real idiots very happy. By idiots I mean anyone that lost sleep for this event. People have all ready been over analysing every event and it makes me bored and feel depressed. My end point is that no life defining moment for so many people should have been pre arranged unless its earths first contact with aliens.
No to Known AV, or how I learned to stop being treated like an idiot by anti-AV supporters. AV also known as the alternative vote system is not complicated, not really not compared to say the plot of Inception. The easiest comparison I can think of is say that of the voting for x-factor or big brother. There isn't one round, if the person you wanted to stay in gets kicked out you can change your preference and keep voting, of course there is a real chance this is just to make more money from you but that's not the issue here. So you wanted Jeff B to win but he got kicked out, but that's OK because Jenny J was your second choice so no real hassle and the game continues. Yeah this is a dumbed down version and I doubt it really answers all your questions, but go do some research if your still lost. My problem is not the AV system , my problem is the two biggest reasons anti AV groups are using. The first being its complicated and you wont be able to get your pretty little head around it. The second is its expensive, but I promise you its not half as expensive as the advertising costs that the anti groups are pumping in to getting there point across. I don't care which way you vote, its your choice, just don't vote one way because your worried about how stupid you are. Just as an end note change is the best thing to happen to our voting system this is constantly proven with all the changes that have happened in the past, first the right for all people from all wealth backgrounds to have the vote, then woman then any ethnic groups, which leads us all to be a fairer better race.
Sunday, 6 March 2011
A piss poor Blog, written so that I dont feel bad about not writing anything in a while.
1: Although I have real issue with all organised religion (with the exception of Buddhism) I do believe in a "God" like entity. I say God like entity as I don't call it God for a reason and that is that it might not be its name. Plus It probably is not watching down from on high judging us and fucking up our days with poor weather. If anything it was just around first and kind of guided our growth as a race.
2. I believe in an afterlife. If your truly an atheist and your reading this with the idea that this one life is all you have and once it ends that's the end of you, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? So there is nothing after this, you get drunk every weekend then you go to work Monday through to Friday while you save up for your mortgage in the vain hope that you can retire at 64 and live out the rest of your misserable lives watching day time T.V. How is that taking advantage of your one life? In fact thats just living a piss poor existence. Don't get me wrong I'm not judging you really as I'm not even living an existence as good as that, but at least I might have a safety blanket with the idea of either reincarnation or the afterlife, either will do I'm not fussed.
3. I don't get football. Well I don't really get the idea of getting passionate about watching any sport. Playing sport is fun, watching and getting aggressive about a result is a little retarded, unless you have a financial gain from the your team winning. Seriously though every time I hear an idiot state that there teams victory on a certain day was the happiest of there lives it makes me feel angry and very very sad for there children , who now know that the day they where born was not the happiest day of there dad's life. Again I watch match of the day every now and again, I also pretend to support a Arsenal but mostly just to wind up other football fans.
4. I read graphic novels more then I read books. But at least I read so fuck off.
5. I own to many films, both porn and normal. I know what your thinking, your thinking you can never own to much porn or any other films. But you can, you easily can and in this world or movies being at the click of a button do we really need to own films any more? I still have the porn for the big reason of how the fuck do you get rid of it, seriously. EBay wont let me sell it and I would be to embarrassed to just throw it away in case I got caught.
6. I'm getting really old now. Yeah I know I'm not even 30 yet but after a night out drinking my body feels like death for about 3 days. I'm not even talking about getting proper drunk, I'm just talking about a few beers with the boys to the point of getting a bit woozy.
7. I strongly believe that all intolerance comes partly from lack of understanding but mostly from stupidity. This goes for homophobia and racism, you fucking idiot. You get very confused by the difference between immigrants and and illegal immigrants and the fact is you have probably never meet an illegal immigrant so keep your mouth shut.
8. I am a terrible human being. A lot of my friends tell me I'm to harsh on myself but its for a good reason. I don't look after myself so in turn don't really look after those I'm close to. I'm make terrible jokes about other peoples misfortune. Everyone and everything annoys me, well not all the time but at least once and that goes for all of you. Even if i have never met you at least at one point you have pissed me off. But I imagine everyone feels that way.
9. I'm not jealous of your success I just don't want to hear about it. You tell me you have done well at something I'm happy for you, honestly I am. But if someone introduces them self with a list of there accomplishments then they can go to hell. "hi I'm Steve and I'm the youngest area manager in my company" my response is "Hi I'm Jon i bet i can eat a whole pizza before you". This is why I don't care who wins The Apprentice, all of them just seem to be pretentious cunts.
There is more but I'm really tired after having some drinks 2 nights a go some I'm going to go back to bed.
Thursday, 27 January 2011
McDonalds will change your life, I promise
If you have never had a McDonald's breakfast, please put aside your fear and doubt and just dive in as they can be delicious, granted they can also be disgusting but somethings are worth the risk. I order my usual a double sausage and egg Mcmuffin meal with a hot chocolate drink. All the meal comes to me quickly as you would expect from a fast food chain except the hash brown. Due to the smallest miscommunication they where not put in to the friar so I have to wait about a minuet the food comes to me and I go. I walk to the station and miss my train by 30 seconds.
Not to worry the next train will be there in 5 minuets, but watch out I forget that days that have the letter Y in them will always cause south eastern to have issues and my next train is delayed by 10 minuets. I sit at the station and eat my breakfast, I sit and wonder that this could be the defining moment of my life, simply because some guy forgot to put the hash browns in. I get to work late and the day is pretty shit, we are under staffed due to illness and the manager gets about half a second to himself , plus there is always the issue that I work in Tunbridge Wells and the average customer is a bit of a twat except for when the legend Tom Baker came in but that's only happened the once. So the day was not great and pretty stressful on the plus side it was probably the best McDonald's breakfast I've ever had.
Sunday, 2 January 2011
Head phones are natures invisibility cloaks
Cinema time again and today was the time for Tron Legacy. If you wanted a one word review its Murghh, the first act is good enough and suggest alot of potential but it quickly drifts in to mediocrity, shame really. As for the 3D I still found myself dissapointed as with all 3D films i've seen in the cinema (apart from Avatar) the best parts seem to be the trailers for other movies. All round bit of a let down. I have to wonder why it is that my two favourite movies of 2010 I didnt see in the cinema, the amazingly funny The Other guys and the beautifuly odd Scott Pillgrim yet I manage to make time to see these easily forgetable movies. O well.
The title from this blog comes from some wonderful observations over the years and that is that with head phones in your ears people speak freely around you and 99% of the time they leave you alone. So even if your not actually listening to anything people will assume you are and feel very happy to talk about there possible pregnancy from a one night stand. Its fun what you can over hear, you can also listen in to idiots chatting about stupid things. Here is one conversation I was lucky enough to over hear. Three men stand at a bus stop and they quickly establish themself as being unemployed mostly doe to the fact that they have combined IQ of a field mouse and partly because they are disscusng there last trip to the job centre. The leader of the pack starts perking up about how the unemployed arent the real issue costing this country millions and its mostly down to Brussels taking a million pounds a day, wonderfully idiot two asks if Brussels is in England. to which idiot one replies ofcourse its not, its in Europe in Germany. I think this conversation can't get any better untill idiot one perks again saying what was the point in winning world war two just so we have to pay the germans a million pounds a day. This whole time idiot three stares out with a blank look on his face which suggested to me that even this retarded conversation was way to deep for him and that he really wanted to get back home to ITV 1, a TV channel for idiots. You may have guessed already that this all took place in Tonbridge, Kent. A place recently described as Englands fourth greyest town.
Well thats all I can be bothered to write, go away.
Monday, 29 November 2010
The Review Show
The Weather
Its alright, what can I say. Its a bit cold but not cold enough to be entertaining. Everyone gets so panicked about the idea of heavy snowfall that we plan our lives around the idea that it might. I suppose that's a good idea, you know plan for the worst. But we should be in a position as a country that heavy snowfall shouldn't disrupt us at all. Russia survives every winter, so why should we stop dead every time a little snow falls? The problem is we the people, as it always should be. We elect, we vote and then we don't complain enough. When the roads become unusable we see it as a day off work not as a loss is wages. We are stupid. So my review of the weather is, its not an issue unless we have elected idiots.
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The world
I can honestly say I have fallen in love with this film. For some reason it talks to me, i get it and for an unknown reason I really relate to the main character. Its funny and at most times very odd film involving bizarre action sequences, interesting people and a witty script. Its amazing so please check it out.
Call of Duty: Black Ops
If your a girl please feel free to skip to the next review. I know COD has been out for a while now and your wondering why I haven't written about it before. Well the reason being is when the last Call Of Duty game came out I reviewed it to early, I raved about it, claiming it to be a marvel. But I was wrong that game had so many flaws it became un playable very quickly. It rewarded people who hid and coward or camped if you know anything about gaming talk. The new COD is a vast improvement and I can happily say its the best COD game since the first modern warfare. The maps are incredibly well designed and the perks, kill streaks and gamercard compliment the game and don't dominate it. This is even more surprising since this is a Treyarch game and not an Infinity Ward game. This is important as Infinity Ward usually make the better games leaving Treyarch to produce the lesser sequels, this has been reversed.
The Cinema
Really I should be reviewing Harry Potter and The Deathly Hollows. But I'm going to assume you've all seen that film by now. If you haven't its a good film, it drags quite a bit and it really looks like all the best bits will be in the second part. Now my issue with the cinema started with an introduction from Simon Pegg at the beginning of the film. He was just on screen promoting his new film and talking about how great his new film will be and why its important to watch it in the cinema. The problem is the cinema is shit. Yay the cinema screen is so big and loud whoo hoo. That cant really be enough though can it? The seats aren't incredibly comfortable especially after 90 minuets. Plus even if you book isle seats you really cant choose who you'll be sitting next to and this was my biggest issue the twats I had to sit next to where joking and giggling the whole way through, the food is a rip off and if anyone needs the toilet during the show everyone has to stand up to let them pass. Yeah at Odeon they have the executive seats for a few quid more but here is my idea. Make the executive seats the standard, have them everywhere, have plenty of leg room and maybe the ability to lean back a bit, if you choose to that is. But the important thing is to lower the price on all parts from the food to the tickets. You'll get more sales if you do it, honestly you will Mr Odeon.
Jon Budworth
What can I say except sorry, I know I'm not great or even close to being acceptable. Sure I can blame some of this on my upbringing but thats not really fair i was a bad kid. I try and hide behind my morale code and don't claim to be homophobic or racist. I donate to charity when I have spare cash in my life. But I'm not a good person in general. I have stolen in the past (not in the last 10 years or at least nothing I can really think of at this time). I have an amazing ability to be incredibly hurt full to people I care about using things they have told me in confidence to hurt them. I'm stubborn, more so then most would give me credit for as I can easily walk away from people and never go back to them even if the issue that lead to separation was mostly my fault. I judge people to harshly on some decisions that leave them happy especially if that feeling of happiness reflects my own misery. I live my life in dream state never really trying to achieve or grow for the most part I just exist wishing that one day I'll win the lottery or inherit millions from a distant relative. But I guess my biggest flaw is my self perception, I see myself as inconvenience to my friends and family I understand that people love me but I don't believe that they should. I'm not great but on the flip side I'm a fantastic lover and I can fart the theme from Jaws.
Saturday, 6 November 2010
I'm so pretty, O so pretty and witty and straight
On the subject of being rich I did recently win some money on the Euro millions. I didn't kid myself when I received the e-mail letting me know I had won some money I wished for thousands, hoped for hundreds but expected tens. What I won was £5.50 I was a little disappointed. But that's whats great about the lottery no matter the result your always a little disappointed. You may think hey what about those people that win those massive jack Potts well I'm sure they get big headaches trying to think of things to buy, see nobody wins.
So on the subject of losing I'm happily waiting for COD: Black Ops and being uber geek I have booked the week off, yes I'm terrible. But I don't have a lot in life so this is as good as it gets and who could ask for more? Well most people probably but I'm not most people. I'm a straight bear.
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
Fuck you 3D, I watched a terrible 3D film recently made even worse by watching it in 2D on a boring old standard TV. The film was the most recent Resident Evil movie I think it was called afterlife. Anyway a terrible movie that has slipped so far from the original source material it could hardly be considered to have anything in common except the zombies. The movie ran for about 90 minuets but I swear if they ran all the slow mo sequences at normal speed the film would be 15 minuets long and that includes 5 minuets of credits. My real issue was every 30 seconds a shot would come along that was so blatantly meant to be viewed in 3D it just looked out of place on a standard screen. I don't own a 3D TV and to be honest I'm really hoping this whole new found love of the 3D movie experience dies out so that I don't find myself being forced in to getting one when its time to update my old viewing box. For people that love these 3D movies please keep in mind a shit film is a shit film even if it does have bits jumping out the screen at you, the only difference is you have paid slightly more to see and you have some crap shades.
My second angry point. At what time did computer game makers decide that where i purchased there game from would alter the content I received. This has been steadily getting worse, it use to be a case that if you pre-ordered a game they would give you something as a thank you, that seems fair enough. Now though you have to look around each of the stores to find out which retailer with give you the best items for ordering it with them. I'm getting more worried that this will evolve in to game content changing depending on where you get the game from. I'm worried that the last level will be only available to people who brought there copy from HMV. I have paid for this game I want the same content as the guy who brought his copy up the road in a different shop.
Sorry to have been so pointlessly aggressive about these very dull subjects and I hope if you do read them you'll agree with my issues or post a comment showing me where I'm wrong. Also sorry that I haven't written in a while I'll try and post a little more regularly in future. Anyway love you all xoxox.
